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Sword of Damocles

I know, it’s slightly dramatic but after being discharged from the neurologist I worried for a moment that I was back in Limbo. Instead I rather feel like that sword is hanging over me, and that at any time I might relapse and the MRI shows MS. HOWEVER, I can now at least move on with my life as someone with CIS, deal with my current “stable” symptoms and hope that I never relapse! With the LP last year having shown limited signs of demylination they are fairly sure the current lesion is caused by demylination, but whether that is a result of MS or a one off cannot be determined at this time, so their procedure for CIS patients is to discharge, keep the file open for a few years and be referred back to the same neurologist if I relapse.

So now I just have to come to terms with this disability… Is that all? I am going to go to counselling and I hope the mood swings and whatnot can be dealt with. The pain and the limitations and other things are kinda depressing, but I am open to psychotherapy, why would I have a psychology degree if I wasn’t?

I am going to keep blogging about my illness because I know how much better I feel when I read similar blogs and articles – it makes me feel less alone and when you are sick you often feel isolated and abandoned, even if you are surrounded by people and taken care of.

Thank you to all the staff at the Walton Centre in Liverpool for all their kindness and great work, it is an excellent example of the NHS at its best! Also my thanks to Dr Laura Fratalia who has taken care of me and diagnosed me – I meant what I said when you discharged me, I hope we never see each other again! 😛 I feel sorry for my GP who now has to manage it all, but that is what they are for in the UK, the centre of our healthcare and the ones who refer us. Hopefully all my new surgery needs to do in keep my pain under control.

*crosses fingers and toes and everything*